Flaws are the Things That Make Us Special
From Cara Delevingne
[My depression] started when I was 15. I was in high school, I really wanted to do well at school to please my parents, to please my family. I didn’t do too well though. I have very bad learning disabilities, but I tried hard, I pushed myself- too much. I was completely suicidal, I wanted the world to swallow me up even though I had it all.
I got pulled out of school, went to therapy, and put on anti-depressants, and sorta clawed my way back to rational thought. I left school at 17 when the depression started creeping back, so I started modeling.
In this industry, I was constantly told I wasn’t pretty and skinny enough, you’re constantly being battered and bruised. About a year into it, I was discovered, and everybody wanted me. I had no concept of saying no to anyone ever. After a while, I started to get sick. I got psoriasis and started to look at myself as an alien. I was more disconnected from myself than ever before. I desperately wanted someone to stop me, to tell me I needed help. But no one did. I was the one who had it all.
I eventually took a break, and started writing. I would read what I’d written and it was like someone else was talking to me; I was like, “Is this really how I feel?”. As a kid, I saw emotion as a weakness, but when I started writing and doing stuff for myself, I started to acknowledge this darkness inside of me.
When I was a kid I always wanted to change the world. I wanted to be a superhero and perfect. But I have so many messages for kids and young girls, especially-- mental illness and mental health is nothing to be ashamed of. Flaws are the things that make us special. The cracks within us are the beautiful parts that need to have light shone on them.